all I wanted...

all I wanted to do
was come home
eat some dinner
and go to bed

but that's not
what happened
finally made it home
after an hour on the road

finally got ready
to start dinner
decided what to have
had the stove on

then....
the power went out
just a flicker or two
then, OUT

tried to wait it out
did some suduko
tried the crossword puzzle
went upstairs
thought of taking a nap
decided I should shower
while there was still some
daylight

after the shower
decided to go out to dinner
something I was trying to avoid
especially as I had already spent
over $600 this week
but wanted to eat
before going to bed

went to Baja Fresh
took the roommates
it was fine
came home
still no power
found the flashlight
put batteries in the latern

called my sister
to tell her that there was
no power
we hung up
the power came on

such is the story
of my life

bad karma

how bad is my karma? maybe i need a karma cleansing. All i know is that it is 8:17am and already my day sucks!

Woke up not feeling good. could be the fact that after last nights ice cream, i have $2 and some change to my name. and I have to take my car in for $500 worth of repairs so that I can get new stickers for my license plate by Friday.

The way I was going to go this morning was apparently evacuated last night, so thought it best not to go that way. which meant beltway driving (495 loop around the city).

Checked my email. my cousin had posted a new blog on her myspace page. went to comment on it, and after i had posted the comment realized that my roommate (who was already on my last nerve) had not signed out so I posted the comment as him. So I signed out as him and tried to log back in as me so I could let my cousin know it was me and not some strange guy she doesn't know. but myspace log in is not working this morning! UHGH!!

so, driving to take my car in and i lost my sister on the beltway. she had been right behind me, but has yet to realize that on the beltway, you need to be right on top of the person you're following otherwise people will get in between you. actually that kind of goes for all of the DC metro area. Met up with her again eventually though (have to love the cell phones).

Finally got to the place to take my car. that was a little before 730. not wanting to come in at all, really didn't want to be at work 1/2 an hour early. so we stopped at the grocery store so that I could buy my sis some breakfast for driving all this way just to take me to work. Wanted to take her to this bakery, but couldn't make left turns from where we were and by the time we got to where we could we would have passed it. (and of course the streets don't go parrallel and perpendicular like any sane person would make them, so we couldn't just go up a block and come back. and it was off the Pikeway so not worth trying to get across 6+ lanes of traffic).

Giant only had Krispy Kreme donuts, which are okay, but I prefer not Krispy Kreme. So we ended up getting muffins, but they didn't have any cold juice (it took us a good 10 minutes to find the bottles of juice anyway) And the whole self check out was more trouble than it was worth. Then spent my $2 and change on breakfast.

finally made it to work. had to go downstairs to get my work (I had a late meeting yesterday and left it down there) so that I could come back upstairs to answer phones. bleh!

And there's going to be a team meeting later to day so my boss can let the team know that I'm leaving in a little over a week (a week and a day). Actually 2 of the 4 people she's going to tell already know. As far as I know the government still doesn't know. [I am temping for a company that contracts with the government, it's a crazy confusing sort of thing].

Anyway, it's 8:30am. guess I should get to work. just really felt the need to whine. Really want to scream, but since Im at the front desk can't really do that at the moment.

maybe the day will get better.

the torrential rains have stopped. still more rain to come, but not as much as we have had.


9:06am
so, was unable to access my outlook email at my downstairs computer. the way things are set up, i should be able to access it at both. so the IT person finally got around to fixing it this morning. shortly after she left to go downstairs, I sat and watched all my emails disappear. UGH!

seriously this day is going from bad to worse. i would say i don't think it can get any worse, but I know that is so not true. I'm just scared about how worse it's going to get. I must have been a very very bad girl.

Quote of the Day

“God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons we could not learn in any other way. The way we learn those lessons is not to deny the feelings but to find the meanings underlying them.” ~ Stanley Lindquist

Time...

"Time, where did you go?" (Time by CHANTAL KREVIAZUK)

Just thinking about time this evening. Where I was a year ago. Mistakes made a year ago.

Read over my first few blogs. It's funny how some things change so drastically, while somethings never do. I'm still just as complain-y, if not more. I seriously was trying to be better. For a brief moment in time, things seemed like they'd be okay.

I think I have bad karma. Why else would my brief moment of semi-peace, now be buried beneath 500 inches of rain? It's like I'm at the bottom of the mudslide. The road I was traveling washed away.

If only the sun would come out. But I guess, for now, I'll just try and avoid the puddles.

for those who care...

After looking for over 2 years, I think I found a job that I'll enjoy. And they want me as well.

I didn't cry at the thought of taking it, which is a MAJOR step up from the last two jobs. And it pays more than I've ever made. Probably not if you figure in inflation and the variance in cost of living, but money's not everything.

Just thought I'd share that with you all.

the price of friendship...

somedays you go out of your way for a friend. is it too much to expect them to be a little nicer to you? to go a little out of their way for you?

apparently it is.

Not the only one...

A friend wanted to know what's on my mind, so I thought I'd share an email exchange I had today....

To me:
"i want to descibe my mood to you cause i really don't feel like there is anyone else who would understand....but i don't really know how to describe it......but i'm gonna try and i think you'll get it i'm in a really big i don't give a crap about anything moods, i'm sitting at my desk, there is a little bit of work for me to do but i don't want to do it - its not that important - i just want to leave - honestly i probably could and could be gone for about an hour and no one would notice or care...that's the way it is here - you would think that could be a great plus but I HATE IT!! i'm getting off track - maybe i can't describe it - but its like a blankness has taken over my mind - i have nothing to think about - i think this job makes me stupider - i know its like sometimes i have so much on my mind - its like my brain goes into overload cause there's just so much going on at once - then it shuts down - and there's nothing to think about - except for writing you this e-mail to try to describe it to you - isn't that weird? see i'm probably making no sense - you probably think i'm crazy - oh well - i probably am - but i'm just so sticking bored right now w/nothing to do and really really not wanting to be here - you know how some days your somewhere (like work) and your like - i really don't want to be here but those days you don't really mean it - its like you don't want to be at work you'd rather be playing hooky but then there are the days like today where you really mean it - its like you dread being here - it makes you want to cry its that bad - its almost like one of those days anyway, i could go on and on to waste time but i realize i'm not making much sense so i'll stop and see what else i can do to pass the time - thanks for listening!!! miss ya..."

From me:
"there are days and jobs when you wake up and are kind of like "ugh, I have to go to work today" then there are days and jobs when you wake up, it's like "what's the point of getting up" and on the way to the job you just want to cry because you have to go there again. and when you get off you want to cry because you know the next day will be the same. Then the weekend comes, and even though you'd like to enjoy it, you can't because you know it's only a mere 48 hours before you have to go back. I'd say it's like going back to hell, but it's more a personal private hell, because on the outside it looks like a great job, and you should be greatful to have a job that allows you to pay your bills when there are so many other people out there who do not have that luxury. But you can't, you can't feel good about it. You try, and you try, but you end up feeling worse because you know that in a way you are lucky, but on the other hand everyday you think that death would be preferable to this...this existance that you're living, barely. Is it something like that? or do you think I'm crazy? miss you too!"

to me:
"OMG its like you read my mind - you hit the nail on the head - pinned the tail on the donkey - whatever those other expressions are - i know pin the tail on the donkey isn't one normally used in that kind of scenerio it just came out and sounded right - but its perfect - absolutely perfect - i think i'm going to print it out and carry it with me - cause it actually made me smile - i think it made me smile becuase 1) you put it so eloquantly and 2) its nice knowing there is someone out there who understand - and every time i read about our own little personal hell(s) - i'll know where in this together thanks for being there for me!!!! your the bestest!!!! "