Melancholy

For some reason today, I just seemed a bit down. My day was pretty okay (well, except one email from someone who...basically I think they're an idiot. But whatever.) Work was actually okay too, nothing too terrible.

Usually class cheers me up, but for some reason, tonight, it didn't so much. I'm stuck feeling like I'm not any good. At anything, not just photography. And I just feel lost, like I don't know my place in the world (and now I have some old song running through my head, I think it's Richard Marx). I just feel kind of useless some days.

Then I got home and my mom was telling about a friend of hers who teaches kindergarten. Apparently this 5 year old boy got up in class today and was telling about the time he got shot. As in with a bullet from a gun. When he was 2! Apparently his "dad" decided to take junior with him to his drug deal. And then left the boy behind when the gunfire started. Part of me is completely shocked and amazed that someone would do something like that. And another part of me realizes that there are many people out there who probably would do the same thing. It just seems that our world is in a sorry state sometimes. And of course I felt....selfish, foolish, etc...worrying about dumb stupid stuff in my life where there are people out there who have had to deal with such major problems.

I got home from class and decided to check my email. Having none, I read a couple blogs that I keep up with on occasion. One of them was really what I needed to read. How God has a plan for us, even though we don't know what it is. It's something that I know, but often find difficult to really deal with and accept. The not knowing really bothers me. I feel that my life has stagnated, and maybe that's what it's supposed to be at this moment, but I'm ready for something else. Something different.

Guess I need to learn some patience, and just keep praying.