Time

Every year, every month, every day, every hour...we get a little older every second. All of a sudden we look back and wonder where the time has gone. It can't be true that our little babies are all grown up. It is sometimes difficult to deal with the realization that the baby, whose diapers you changed numerous times, is now old enough to be in college. The people that you once thought too young to play with are now on the verge of being adults. Old enough to vote. Old enough to move out on their own. To start their own journeys in the "real world".

What's even more difficult to deal with is the feelings of jealousy that these young people seem to have a better life plan than one's self. Maybe it's just that they're young, they don't realize plans have a way of doing their own thing. Maybe it's just that MY plans don't work. I know many other people who set goals and plans years in advance....I'm going to finish college, work for a couple of years, then get married, after a few years of married life I'll think about having kids....I have my plans for after graduation all set, even though graduation is months away, I have my job, where I'm going to live. And you? What, you're just packing up and moving to Texas with no job to live with your sister and her soon to be husband?....What is this, grad school starts in 2 weeks and you don't know where you'll live?....

I try to make plans. I once planned a bridal shower/bacherolette party for a friend of mine. Had the whole afternoon and evening planned. The afternoon worked according to plan. The evening, turned into something completely different. Not bad different, just different. Many plans I make do not go according to my schedule. I do realize God is in charge of everything, and everyone has plans that go haywire. But mine go off track more often than not. I fear making plans too far in advance for fear something will go wrong.

My friend wants me to join her on a cruise. Which you must plan and pay for a year in advance. Does anyone realize what can happen in a year? My senior year of college I had ideas of heading out west to find what the world had in store (either that or to follow a friend of mine because I hate to be alone, and she seems to have enough...strength and confidence for both of us, no matter what she says.) 6 months later, I decided to pack up my belongings and move to Austin, TX. 2 years later after moving back home....I made the decision to apply to grad school, applied, was accepted, and moved 3 hours away from home, all with in a few months. Not the plans I had 6 months earlier.

Time is a crazy crazy thing, that seems to be spinning out of control some days.